Month: September 2014

LRRH (4)

He texted her.





And she texted back.





A week went by. Two.  Then three.  One month.  And she sold more houses and he sang more songs.  And they got comfortable in their separate routines and a distance grew.  And the texts became few and far between.  The phone calls non-existent. She stopped looking at her phone for his number, and he wrapped himself up in adventures and vyrts and his fans and his other life.  And she met a man named Joe who grilled veggie burgers for Kim and Payam.  And Joe kissed Erica. One night on a path over looking the city lights.  And Erica felt a pull in her heart. And she felt sad that Joe’s lips felt nice.  Sad that Joe was the one who called before bed each night.  Sad that Jared was on the other side of the world not losing any sleep.  And not dreaming of her.

But he was.  She just didn’t know that he’d look at his phone, run through his contacts to H and his pointer finger would hover and he’d admonish himself for letting so much time pass.  And he’d curse himself for letting her go. But he’d reign himself in and he’d compartmentalize and he’d go on about his day with her in the way way back of his mind.  And eventually his lips found another and then, only then did he truly accept that he was in love with Erica. And that she’s the one he should be with tonight.  Not just any one…The One.

So at 2am he texted her.


And she was sleeping, because it was 2am after all.

So at 447am (his time) he sent another text.


And by 7am (her time) there were fourteen messages waiting for her.  Each better than the one before, because she had to read them backwards (the most recent, the first) she was already waiting at the airport for him to arrive. In the cellphone lot because security threatened to give her a ticket twice.  But she was waiting on USAir and she was waiting for him.  And they were going to be together again.  Sooner than soon.

LRRH (3)

“Your bed is really fucking comfortable.” Jared whispered in to Erica’s ear.  “Or maybe it’s you.  You’re really fucking comfortable.”  Jared kissed the tip of Erica’s nose and pulled himself closer to her so he could slide his leg between hers.  She shifted positions to accommodate him and hung her leg over his hips.  He could feel her center and he wanted her again.

“Are you calling me fat?  Sounds like you’re calling me fat.” she teased as she brushed his messy mane off his face.

“This ass…” he teased back as he palmed her backside. “Bubblebutt.”

Erica and Jared were buried deep beneath a plush down-filled duvet, softest egyptian cotton sheets and six squishy pillows.  The sheets were pulled up to their necks, only their heads, raised up on the pillows, peeking out.  The air in Erica’s bedroom was cold, the temperature beneath the blankets was heavenly.

“Tell me we can stay right here like this forever.”

“Fuck the real world…I’m not going anywhere.” Jared said.

He slid his body on top of Erica.  Careful not to put his full weight on her by supporting himself on his his wrists then his elbows planted on the bed on either side of her.  He kissed her slowly.  Pressed his lips in to her bottom lip, then the top, the bottom again before sliding his tongue inside her warm mouth.

“You’re so beautiful.” he whispered.  His eyes sparkling above her.  She blinked slowly.

“You’re not too bad yourself.”  She put her hands in his hair, tucked it behind his ears then closed her eyes.  Reveled in the security of his weight above her.

Jared shifted himself so that he could touch her breast.  She was wearing a thin tank top.  He could see the tender pink pigmented skin of her areolas through the fabric.  He lifted her tank slowly so he could taste her skin.  His breath hot on her nipple, it became erect before his eyes.  He was aroused too.  Between his pointer finger and thumb he tugged slightly at her nipple.  She sighed and he covered her breast with his mouth.  His tongue dancing across her nipple.  His legs sliding between hers.  She opened wide to receive him though their nightclothes stopped him from entering her then.

“You’re wearing too many clothes.”

“Fix that Jared.”

Jared slid her tank over her head.  Then pulled her panties off.  She was naked when he disappeared beneath the sheets to taste her.  She threw the sheet back so she could watch his head bob as he fucked her with his tongue.  Lost to ecstacy she closed her eyes tight and shook through her orgasm.  He kissed her thigh and removed his pajama pants. They bunched by his feet.  Tender and nearly spent, Jared entered her slowly.  And quietly made love to her.  Leaving her on her back so that when he finished, they would be locked in a kiss.  As one as two people can be.  He rested his head on her shoulder and whispered “I think…”

She closed her eyes and listened.

“I think we should go to church today.”

“Church?” Erica questioned.  Jared’s manhood softening inside of her.

Jared backed himself out of Erica and flopped on to his back beside her. “Yeah.  Church. It’s Sunday.”

“I didn’t know you went to church.”

“I don’t.”

“What kind of church then?”

“Russian Orthodox.”

“Oh, starting with something simple?”

“I have a calling.”

“Ok.  But I don’t think the service…mass? …is done in English.”

“Even better.  We’ll understand more.”


So they showered together.  And Erica put on a pale pink dress.  Jared put on black pants and that Prada blue button down he’s wearing thin.

“I think you need a suit…or at least a tie.” Erica suggested.

“And you need a head covering.  Maybe we should go another day.”

“No.  Let’s go today.  Isn’t it a holy day?”

“All Saints or All Souls…something like that.”

“Jared, that’s Catholic.”

“I have much to learn.”

Erica picked up her phone and googled service times and the location of the nearest church.

“Commemoration of the Dead. That’s not too far off from the Catholic thing. And all are welcome…”

“Let’s go.”

So they went.  The cathedral was just outside Studio City.  A quick drive.  Jared and Erica made their way from the parking lot in to the vestibule where they were greeted kindly in Russian and handed a program with English translations.  The service was quite formal.  And beautiful.  And strange.  The type of strange that makes you ask questions.  Want to learn and crave understanding.  Tradition at its finest.  At its most beautiful.  They knelt and they bowed their heads.  Absorbed the music and gave thanks before sneaking quietly out the back just behind the Priest.

“Was it what you had hoped for?” Erica asked as they drove quietly back up Ventura Blvd.


“That’s good then. Right?”

“Yep.”  Jared turned Erica’s car up the hill past the Donut Hut and in to his neighborhood.

“Think you’ll go again?  Next week?”

“I’m not in town.”

“Oh.  Ok.”

“I’ll email you my schedule.  I’m gone for awhile again.” Jared said.

“I know.”

“Will you miss me?” he asked.

“Of course.”

Jared parked Erica’s car across from his house.  “I’ll miss you.” he said before kissing her cheek and hopping out of the car.  She got out too.  Only to get in the driver’s seat.  She’d miss him something awful. That’s for sure.

Little Red Riding Hood (2)

Kim somehow convinced Erica (because she was the only one who didn’t have a fuck ton of makeup on and was about to abandon the party early anyway) to get the party games started by being the first, of hopefully many, to bob for big green apples in a galvanized trough bucket.

Ever the sport and naturally drop dead gorgeous with or without makeup, Erica held her hands behind her back and allowed Kim to tie them together loosely with the red checked ribbon from her wicker basket.  Once sure she was secured, Kim turned Erica around to make her dizzy and everyone shouted out “Wrong game!” and laughed hardily.

“Pin the tail on Jared!” someone called out.

“I’m not blindfolded, I’m tied up!”

“Even better! Use your teeth!”

Erica scooted next to the tin trough and assessed the clear water and floating fruit before her and thought what a strange tradition… “This is easy” she said out loud before leaning over the big bucket and going down on her first apple.  She skimmed her face over the water trying to grab an apple with her teeth.  The apples skidded away from her. Everyone laughed, then shouted instructions until she gave up and dunked her face in to the water chasing a particularly good apple up against the wall.  Her lips glided across the slippery fruit until her teeth sunk in to a stem, she pulled back, delighted with her catch only to have the stem snap and the apple fall back in to the bucket with a giant splash.  Everybody laughed, Erica went in for another round, Kim held her braids back from the water and Jared helped her cheat.  Everyone was in on the bob now. Rooting for Erica.  Drinking their eyeball laden punch.  Celebrating all hallows eve.  And silly traditions.

After soaking her bodice and braids, Erica finally got a good hold on a granny smith (with Jared’s help) and she stood up with the apple in her mouth quite victorious.

She spat it to the ground and playfully cried out “Fuck you! Who’s next?” as Jared toweled her face off.  Zander took next go at the trough.  But only after boasting about how he knew exactly how to get an apple on the first try. Apparently, Zander knows how it really should be done and it’s time to stop fucking around.  “Let me show you clowns exactly how this is done.” he bragged.

“Kind of like you tied up.” Jared remarked as he slipped the ribbon off her wrist.

“I’m freezing!” she confessed and she crawled inside the towel he was holding for her.  “I’m going to grab a sweatshirt from Kim’s room….then we can go.  Ok?”

“We don’t have to go…I’m having fun…aren’t you?”

Erica shook her head.  “I will be once I’m warmed up.”

“Kim?” Erica shouted “Dry hoodie?”

“Third drawer!” Kim shouted over her shoulder as she tied Zander up “Or on that shelf in the closet.  Try the closet first!”

“Okay!”  Erica scooted quickly in to Kim’s house, passing the feast sprawled out on the dinning room table and the mess in the butler’s kitchen to the back stairs that led directly to the master suite.  She threw open the double doors and immediately laughed at Kim’s ostentatious and opulent masters’ quarters.  Tray ceilings, gold window coverings, a fireplace Erica couldn’t help but switch on immediately, a fur rug, gold sconces, beveled mirrored wall, a canopy bed with heavy fabric drapes, a mirror above the bed.  It was all too much.  And perfectly Kim.

Erica could hear the party continuing without her – Loud laughter and shouting.  She took the time to nose around Kim’s closet for a pair of yoga pants to wear with the LAPD hoodie she snagged from Payam’s side of the boudoir.  Kim has great taste, well great taste in clothes, not so much in bedroom decor.

“What’s taking you so long?” Jared asked as he stepped in to the closet “Oh, I see.”

Erica had slipped on a pair of Kim’s thigh high boots.  She had taken off her costume and was standing there in just her underthings.  “Like the boots?” she asked coyly.

“Like the everything.” Jared stated as he walked closer to her. “Everything.’ he said again as he ran his hands over her bare backside and pulled her in to him for a kiss.  He kissed her mouth hard, his tongue tangling with hers as he cradled the back of her head.  She broke away from his kiss for a moment, just to catch her breath, then pressed her lips hard against his.  Jared pushed his body in to hers.  She stepped back to keep balance.  He pushed her up against the closet door and squeezed her breast softly, kneading it in his hand.  She moaned and slid her hands under his flannel top – his skin so soft and warm.  She fumbled with the buttons on his shirt until they gave way, wanting to feel his warmth against her skin but her dexterity lost somewhere between a kiss and his touch.

Jared pulled his flannel over his head.  Laid his skin against hers.  Her breasts pressed in to his tight chest.  They continued to kiss.  The passion getting intense.  The kisses became sloppy.  He ran his hands down her arms, across her back to her backside.  He palmed her ass and lifted her up slightly so she was resting on his hips. She wrapped her legs around him. His manhood pressing in to her. Erica moaned.  She could feel his excitement between her legs.  She was thirsty for him.

He slid his hand between them, underneath her panties inside her wet pussy.

“You’re still wet.” he teased.

“Yeah.” she gasped as she nibbled on his shoulder.

Jared worked his fingers inside her and she threw her head back.

“Can we …. ”

“Here?” she asked

Jared just nodded and kissed her before she could answer.  Erica said yes with her kisses and her heavy breaths.  Jared set her down on her feet so he could undo his pants.  They fell to his ankles as he slid Erica’s panties over her feet.  He kissed beside her knee then her thigh before picking her back up and resting her against the door.  Jared looked deep in to Erica’s eyes.  Kissed her softly.  Twice.  Then entered her slowly.   Erica braced herself against his strong shoulders as he thrusted inside of her. Quick strokes.  Long and deep strokes.  She moaned and held him tighter.  Her pleasure revealed in stifled gasps beside his ear.  She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him deeper inside of her.  When she came, just a moment later, she threw her head back and moaned loud.  Too loud.  He laughed and covered her mouth with his hand until she finished.  Her eyes watered and he spilled his seed inside of her.

“You two get lost?” Kim asked with a wink when they rejoined the party a few minutes later.  Fully dressed in Kim and Payam’s clothes.

Erica smiled – a devilish smile and shook her head.

“Please tell me you two didn’t just fuck in my closet.” Kim said as she escorted Erica over to the bar and Jared shed his fresh outfit and jumped, in briefs only, feet first in to the cold October pool water.

Little Red Riding Hood

Gas lamps illuminated the stone pathway that led behind the house.  The glow cast a creepy tone over the gray stone but Erica Healy, the actress, was skipping along and giggling like a child without paying any mind to the aesthetic.  Her nonchalance was appropriate because she was decked out head to peep-toe in a Little Red Riding Hood costume.  Fierce and fearless.

Beneath a red satin hood, Erica’s long brown hair was separated neatly in to two braids and tied at the ends with ribbon. In her left hand she held a small wicker basket, a bottle of Screaming Eagle Cabernet Sauvignon inside. Her lipstick was the same color as the wine, giving her costume an edge, not innocence.

Erica’s costume could be described as Little Red Riding Hood meets Steampunk.  She wore a short cape with a hood, of course, a midnight blue bodice over a white-chemise and an even shorter red pleated skirt. Her decolletage sparkled in the yellow light.  Jared thought she must be wearing glitter and blamed it on Halloween.  Clearly the only acceptable day of the calendar year for glitter, unless of course you’re part unicorn.

Erica smiled wide and playfully teased Jared as she traversed the stone walk way swiftly in her six-inch platform pumps.

“This way … if you dare!”

Jared followed behind Erica. A lightness in his step.  Feeling frisky and playful himself, he kept tickling Erica’s sides as she walked a step in front of him.


A warm California breeze blew Erica red-pleated miniskirt upwards revealing her black garter belt and matching lace panties. Jared nearly dropped to his knees.  The garters were a nice touch, every boy’s fantasy.  He licked his lips.

“Was that you or the wind?!” she cried out.

Jared swore it was “The wind!”

A bashful Erica, smoothed her skirt down immediately and put her hand to her mouth to stifle a gasp. Quick with the observation, Jared noticed that the curves of her backside were also dusted with the same light glitter.  It must be from her lotion, she must have glitter everywhere.  Jared closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  Erica was painfully sexy tonight.

Jared was wearing old sneakers on his feet, torn blue jeans, a flannel shirt and a wolf eared animal hoodie on his head.  His hands were inside gloves covered in faux fur, fake claws at the fingertips.  He slipped a hand out of one of the gloves to pinch Eric’s exposed right butt-cheek.

“You devil !” she remarked as she playfully slapped his hand away.

“Big bad wolf.” he corrected in a deep sexy whisper.

“Yeah, you’re bad” she winked “And big too.”

Jared asked “Are you sure we really need to go to this party?”

“It’s Halloween!”
“Yeah but I’ve got a treat for you at home.”
“You mean a trick.”
“I can’t honestly be expected to behave all night with you in that costume.”  he slid his hand around her waist and kissed her neck softly as he pulled her in to his arms.

“One hour.  We only have to stay for one hour Jared.”
“One whole hour? Sixty entire minutes?”
“Yes. One hour.”
“The things I do for you…” he teased.
“You’ll survive.  Just think about the things I’ll do to you an hour from now…” she teased back.

Jared adjusted his manhood right in front of Erica so she could see exactly what she and that costume she was wearing were doing to him before they turned the corner and joined the party, already in progress, beside the pool in the flat portion of the backyard.

There were paper lanterns floating on the water.  Pumpkins, hay bales and flying witches. Orange tinted lights wrapped around the branches of the trees.  The Monster Mash was coming through the speakers.

A signature drink that either had eyeballs or olives floating inside, was being passed around by waiters and waitresses dressed like Mummies.  Lettuce wraps with dagger skewers, to keep the theme going, floated by Erica and Jared on blood-red platters.

Erica raised her left eyebrow and Jared smiled.  They both love kitsch. The party had an admirable vibe going and it wasn’t even 9pm.  It was probably at a Halloween party just like this that the term kitsch was first coined.

Laughter spilled out across the lawn as Erica and Jared said hello to their friends.  Erica took the bottle of Screaming Eagle out of her wicker basket and presented it to Kim, the hostess.  Kim hooted when she read the label.  “You brought the good shit.” she teased.

Kim was dressed like a mermaid, a sexy mermaid.  Zander like a candy corn.  Nothing sexy about that. Shannon might have been a construction worker, couldn’t quite tell.  And Payam, who was dressed like a cereal box but carrying a bloody sword, told the couple he was a serial killer and waited for their response with baited breath.

Erica tilted her head, Payam repeated the bad joke, and Jared said “Oh I get it.” before unleashing the fakest of laughs.  “Good one Pay.” and he slapped his friend on the back.  “Serial not cereal…..that’s funny.”

Kim rolled her eyes and Erica shared the expression.  “Payam’s been reading old Martha Stewart magazines again.” she teased.

Jared excused himself, threw his arm over Shannon’s shoulder and the two made their way to another circle of people and Erica stayed behind to tease Payam some more and catch up with Kim, an old shared friend, the one who introduced Erica to Jared.

“So…?” Kim questioned when Payam and Zander wandered off to test the serial killer joke on another new arrival. “How is it going with you two? You look adorable by the way…”

“I have no idea what to do with this basket now…”

Kim laughed, shrugged her shoulders, took a sip of her drink and motioned for one of the Mummies with a tray of drinks to come her way. “Girl, I cannot believe Jared agreed to wear that costume!”

“Me either. To be honest.”

Kim took a big sip and chewed on a piece of ice before adding “He’s smitten.”

Erica bumped Kim with her elbow “Me too!” Erica confessed “He’s so great.  I mean you know that but he’s like just so great. So so …. great!”

“And hot!”

“And talented …and he’s so kind and he walks my dog for me! And well….” Erica gushed.

“Look at how you’re blushing! Oh my god you got it bad girl…bad!”

“Stop…don’t say another word.  You’re going to jinx it!”

“Shh…” Kim said and she widened her eyes a second before Erica felt Jared’s hands slip around her waist

As Jared hugged Erica from behind, he rocked their bodies back and forth slowly “I should have known you two would still be here gossiping about me.” he said, his head resting on Erica’s exposed shoulder.

“We weren’t!” Kim lied.

Jared nodded his head and playfully bit Erica’s neck. “Thirty-seven minutes” he said before backing away and retreating across the pool deck to the bar.

Kim swallowed another big gulp of her drink before asking “What happens in thirty-seven minutes?”

“I turn in to a pumpkin.” Erica snickered mischievously, grabbed a goblet from the nearest Mummies’ tray, drained it, then sighed.

Kim laughed a knowing laugh.  “Get it girl!” she said.

Meet JoLynn Baker 10 (end)

“This is like so weird because I like totally love you so much and oh my god when I came out here I was like there’s no fucking way I’m going to run in to him but I figured why not try. Right? So I watched Artifact like 40 times … like over and over and over trying to figure out where the hell your like secret spot was and I’m like looking for clues in every frame…crazy right…hah-hah… then I came out here – well a few times because I wasn’t sure where exactly to go but that gate, man that gate gave it away!  You know that one scene where you and Tomo are doing the ‘pooh shammi’ thing….that happened right here! Oh my god.”

And Jared felt like puking vile bile all over this kid. And the kid kept puking out his rainbows and unicorn glitter all over Jared. And the moment became so goddamn uncomfortable that Jared had no choice but to take control.  So he asked the kid “Hey Kid?”

“Yeah, man? What? I can’t believe you’re talking to me!”

“Remember how the pushyami works?”

“Yeah, you um …”

“The short version: find a rock, meditate over the rock whats troubling you then toss it in to the abyss and let go of whatever is weighing you down.”


“Yeah, so you wanna try it?”

“Of course man, of course.”  So the kid searched the ground for a perfect rock.  Nice and round.  Smooth.  No edges.  And he smiled at Jared and presented the rock before him inside his open palm for approval.

Jared nodded. “Good one.  Ok now come over here by the edge.  Watch your step, ok?”

“Whoah ok.”

“Now close your eyes and think about whatever it is that’s troubling you, then give that rock a whirl and let it go…ok on the count of three….one…two” and Jared pushed that little fucker right off the side of the cliff.

“Whoopsie” Jared said and he went back to the boulder, picked up his trail mix, popped an almond on his tongue and sighed the sigh of a contented man once more.

Meet JoLynn Baker 9

Jared Leto was sitting in the sun checking his email on his ipad.  The pool boy was skimming leaves and random debris from the pool and Jared rolled his eyes.  The upkeep is such a wasted expense, Jared swims in the pool maybe once a year, if that. But every good California home has one, if they have the flat space.  So he has one too.  Only because it came with the house.

Jared swiped his screen to wake the tablet back up.  114 unread emails.  He groaned.  It was a busy time for him, like always.  But he was feeling good today.  Work is a nice distraction from the incessant pull in his gut.  When work is busy, Jared behaves.  Luckily for him, and all of the expendable people in his path, he would be satisfied for a while now. Given the complexity of JoLynn and Grady’s sacrifice, Jared could be normal again for a while. Play the role of the rock star without feeling like half a man.  It would be enough again, for now.

“Hey Shayla?” he called in to the house. “What time do we leave?”

“Four!” she shouted from an opened window.

“Four.” he repeated.  That gave him a few hours to play with.  “I’m going to go for a run!” he shouted and he tucked his ipad in on a shelf just inside the sliding glass doors, grabbed his keys and climbed the stairs up to his waiting truck.  His freshly detailed truck.

He drove himself up in to the Hollywood Hills via Laurel Canyon then Mullholland.  It was a beautiful day.  Typical California.  Hot but not too hot.  He crossed the mountain, wound through the canyon and found his secret spot – the one he mentioned too many times in Artifact.  He paused for a moment, looking out over the precipice, then locked up the truck and headed down his favorite trail. The one that he seemed to single-handedly enjoy.

At the bottom of the trail, an hours walk down, Jared checked on his trophies.  Nine total.  Giant rocks, not quite boulders, lined the perimeter of his dumping grounds.  Hidden on a hill accessed by no one.  He examined the bones.  Meatless mostly, but in varied states of decay.  The animals had been here again.  Chunks of JoLynn were missing.  That part unsettled him.  JoLynn deserved to be inside the ground not here.  But he couldn’t just leave her there.  No one would believe that was a suicide too, not now.  Not then.  Fucking bleach. Stupid idea.  He wouldn’t do that again.  Even though it was quite fascinating.

Jared threw the palm leaf blanket over his pile of victims and crawled out on a large boulder to stare at the city of angels below him.  He nibbled at his trail mix and sighed the sigh of a content man.  The sun washed over him and he was nearly asleep when he heard his name.

“Is that really you?” someone gushed “Oh my God Jared! It is you!”

Jared turned around and to his horror saw a fan, easily recognizable wearing head-to-toe band merch, going gaga over their chance meeting out here in the middle of fucking nowhere on the side of a goddamn mountain.

“Hello.” he said as he casually looked over towards his kills.  They were well concealed behind the other large rocks but their stench was not.  He could smell it, even there, out on the edge of the rock.

“I can’t believe it’s you!”

“It’s me.” he said with a smile.  Blue eyes twinkling, gut pulling….not again!