LRRH (10)

Erica and Jared sat side by side on the couch in silence for quite a while.  May busied herself elsewhere in the bungalow.  They listened to her unload the dishwasher and stack the plates in the cupboards.  Arrange the silverware in a drawer.  Then May loaded it back up.  Pots and pans and the cutting board.  Cabinets opened, then closed.  The screen door opened and closed.  May flittered back and forth at the back of the house until eventually she too was quiet.

They could hear the refrigerator humming. The hot water heater kick on then off.  But neither said a word.

Eventually Jared placed his hand on top of Erica’s and said “So now what?”

It was Erica’s turn to say “I don’t know.”  Then “Maybe you should go.  I don’t want to do this with you.”

Jared felt stabbed in the heart but he also very quickly understood he deserved that.  He also had to admit he wanted to leave too.  The wall between them was too high.  She had nothing left to give, no room for a fresh start and he … well he didn’t want to start over.  He loved her and he missed her but that wasn’t enough to let her inside his well insulated heart.

So they joined May on the back deck.  Had a small and safe conversation before Jared walked himself to the ferry.  From the stern he watched Breezy Point disappear and it was then, only there with his back to Manhattan and his eyes on a little girl playing with shells on the sand, that he let himself cry.  Truly cry.  And he pulled his phone from his pocket, scrolled right to Erica’s number and prepared a text message after wiping the tears away with the back of his hand.

The text messages read thus:

I’m a coward.  >send<

And a fool.  >send<

You deserve better than this and I don’t know how to give you everything you deserve without losing too much of myself.  If ever there were someone I could see myself with, it would be you.  It would be you a thousand times over.  But I can’t actually see myself with anyone.   And that is no reflection on you at all.  It’s my crap. Bullshit that has built up inside me for years.  Call it a wall.  Call it stupidity.  Call it being a chicken shit.  But… >send<

Hit send too quick.  Sorry.  Call me a coward (it’s fitting) but I think it’s best if we both move on.  You will find someone that is everything and everyone you’ve ever needed in life.  And he’ll treat you so much better than I ever would or could.  Tell May I’m sorry too.  I’m sorry for it all.  >send<

And he slipped his iphone in to the front pocket of his shirt and he placed both his hands on the railing of the boat and he dipped his head down and let it all go.

And Erica never texted him back.  He checked every 5 minutes for days.  Turned the phone on and off to be sure it was working right.  Sent messages to everyone he knew, got responses immediately.  Confirmed there was no glitch with text messages.  And eventually, a few days later, he stopped thinking about her again.  Put her in the back of his mind and went on about living.  Played on VyRT.  Gave a few tech talk interviews.  And paid no attention to what he’d done, yet again.

Until a Friday, four or five weeks later, when he was reading the World Wide Trending Topics List on twitter and he saw her name again.

The hashtag read thus:


And Jared flipped the fuck out.

Meet JoLynn Baker 10 (end)

“This is like so weird because I like totally love you so much and oh my god when I came out here I was like there’s no fucking way I’m going to run in to him but I figured why not try. Right? So I watched Artifact like 40 times … like over and over and over trying to figure out where the hell your like secret spot was and I’m like looking for clues in every frame…crazy right…hah-hah… then I came out here – well a few times because I wasn’t sure where exactly to go but that gate, man that gate gave it away!  You know that one scene where you and Tomo are doing the ‘pooh shammi’ thing….that happened right here! Oh my god.”

And Jared felt like puking vile bile all over this kid. And the kid kept puking out his rainbows and unicorn glitter all over Jared. And the moment became so goddamn uncomfortable that Jared had no choice but to take control.  So he asked the kid “Hey Kid?”

“Yeah, man? What? I can’t believe you’re talking to me!”

“Remember how the pushyami works?”

“Yeah, you um …”

“The short version: find a rock, meditate over the rock whats troubling you then toss it in to the abyss and let go of whatever is weighing you down.”


“Yeah, so you wanna try it?”

“Of course man, of course.”  So the kid searched the ground for a perfect rock.  Nice and round.  Smooth.  No edges.  And he smiled at Jared and presented the rock before him inside his open palm for approval.

Jared nodded. “Good one.  Ok now come over here by the edge.  Watch your step, ok?”

“Whoah ok.”

“Now close your eyes and think about whatever it is that’s troubling you, then give that rock a whirl and let it go…ok on the count of three….one…two” and Jared pushed that little fucker right off the side of the cliff.

“Whoopsie” Jared said and he went back to the boulder, picked up his trail mix, popped an almond on his tongue and sighed the sigh of a contented man once more.

Stress/Press Release

Right now there is nothing.  No outlet.  No pain.  Just oxygen and airplanes and screams and silence.  Lots of silence.  Inside my head, not on the street.  There’s a purpose behind the silence my friends. My self-imposed gag.  But you can’t stay silent.  You wont.  Would you?

I get it.  It’s nothing. Nothing but bullshit.  Piles of it. Semi-truck loads of it.  And you’re heaving it at me.

I don’t have the answers anymore; I plied him with them.  But he didn’t listen, and now all is lost.  He wont … listen. Never did.

We’re all being tested; and you’ve signed up to proctor.  Didn’t know that did you?  Alone in your bed, your iphone balanced on a pillow by your head.  You’re proctoring this.  I got your last tweet.  We’re failing you, friend.

Going to drop out.  Out of the race.  Out of this place.  Like dull coins in your memory box, the value still there. But no oxygen, no air.  Tarnished but true.  Never lost.  It’s what … we … must … do.

I feel his absence too, young friend, but he did this to himself.  I wont address it. I will just overcome it.  If you let me.  If you’re silent too.  Because thats what we need.  Dignity and silence.  Lots and lots of it.  Walk with me.  Walk away.  I no longer care and he never did.

There are days and there are nights.  There’s blackness and there is white.  You know nothing of either and we’re going to keep it that way.  Either you’re in or you’re out.  On board or below deck.  I don’t care either way.  The noose is around his neck not mine and I warned him.  I threw him a safety rope.  He chewed it like a rabid dog.  Broke free from his leash and look now, dear Echelon, at what he has done.

I tried kids, I tried.  I cried kids, I cried.  He’s empty inside.  Lost.  Angry.  Empty.  And he no longer cares.

I’ll bring you the magic, Tomo will too.  But that’s the very least of this, and it’s all we can do.



Complicated Cookie

I was walking in to the Gratitude Cafe and Jared Leto was walking out.  He glanced over his shoulder and caught me giving him the double take.  Our eyes locked for a moment.  And the world stopped spinning. We were in The Truman Show.  I was Nemo Nobody.  Stuck in between choices, where time doesn’t register, and life fails to move forward, but the lights are up and thank God I’m in full makeup.

Then I gasped because I was caught and I was embarrassed because I was caught. My cheeks flushed high pink, my nose scrunched up and my lips pouted all crooked like they do when I smirk. It wasn’t pretty.  But it was natural.  He nodded as if he understood everything I didn’t want to say.  Naturally.

Neither of us moved.  No one said a word. But loneliness has a calling card and we were quietly passing ours out. Right there on the sidewalk.  Like American psychos. A pointless exercise because I don’t have a name and everyone already knows Jared Fucking Leto.  And how to get to him.  Should he need catching.  We were so close, I didn’t need a net. Why was this happening?

This exchange between Jared and I, on the corner of what now and where do we go from here, ocurred just as a gust of wind blew up the block and tossed his long hair in to my face. I caught a tendril in my mouth. Like a baby bird. He was embarrassed. Like a small child.  He wrapped two fingers around the rogue hair, pulled it from my lips and tucked it behind his ear as he apologized for the intrusion.

He should have kissed me instead.

But life, a cyclical circus of clowns and bad costumes, cartwheeled in to the space between us. Dressed up like proper etiquette. Rules. Traps. Balloons and bad habits. Shyness. Expectations. Revelations. Frustrations. It was all too much. I took a step backward.  Stumbled over my heels.  He put a hand out to balance me.  It burnt my skin.

Once I was steady on my feet, he looked at his hand. Shocked. This was too much. So I forgave him for the hair thing and suggested he be on his way by looking at my feet instead of in to his soul.  He left the door open, you know, but I shut it and he shrugged his shoulders and blamed the weather for all of this.  It certainly wasn’t his fault.

I asked him if he was crazy and he said “sometimes.”  And I told him I was afflicted “most of the time.”  That quieted us both.  Made the space between us feel like miles.  He was Prefontaine again.  But I was the one trying to run away.

His phone vibrated in his breast pocket and that made me think about my cousin Maranatha’s cabin in Michigan  that vibrates from the nearby falls.  Such a quaint place that sits right beside a rock formation that looks an awful lot like a chocolate-chip cookie and it helped me to believe that what had happened between me and Jared was quite relevant.  Like that cookie-rock.  And not a mistake.  Like that cookie-rock.  Just a twist of fate.  Like that cookie-rock. A moment where the weather went crazy, not he nor I.

And then I remembered I wanted a cupcake and I had an email waiting for me so I turned on my heels to leave.  Before we parted, Jared looked at that same spot on the ground as I.  And I thought that it might mean something.  But my stomach growled and it became just another day and I went to the counter inside the Gratitude Cafe and ordered a Vegan Banana’s Foster Cupcake from a waitress named Betty who actually likes her job and Jared climbed inside a waiting car run on oil that was refined in Delaware City.  Worlds collided, once again, and I ignored the signs.

Just one cupcake for me because I needed to get back up the hill in front of my laptop before nightfall.  Sitting on my screen was an unopened email that might change my life.  One cupcake to get me through the opening then eventual reading of that email.  Getting published is a bitch.  Running in to Jared, that’s fate.

Fate follows me around you know.  Stalks me. Stalls me. Makes me stumble. Running me in to distractions right and left.  People I don’t need in my life consuming a window of time I’ll never get back.  When all I wanted was a fucking cupcake.

I’m sick of adjusting to the high altitude-like suffocation of the real world.  And I guess if we’re being honest, running in to Jared Leto takes my breath away too.  It has happened more than once. More than twice.  We have run ins all over the world.  I doubt he remembers me, but he always notices.  Gives my backside an extra glance.  Cleans his sunglasses with the end of his flannel then checks it out again. Runs a hand between his legs when I walk by his table by the Bar.  Presses the up when I’ve requested the down button in an elevator in the brown brick low rise on Houston.  He says he never forgets a face, but I think he has forgotten mine.

We’ve never said hello because I wont allow it.  Hello leads to goodbye and I never want to say that word to him.  Never want to suggest forever isn’t being written by a post modern quill scribbling on a napkin somewhere high in the sky on a 749A headed over the French Alps.

Clearly, I need the distraction a hell of a lot more than I need that fucking cupcake. So I’ll take what I can get, be it the winds of fate or a spot on the sidewalk because, well, haven’t you figured it out yet?

Tarac Trail

“That was rude.” Jared said after all the goodbyes and hugs were passed around and Jared’s friends went their separate ways.  Sky and Jared were waiting for Patrick to bring Sky’s Mini Cooper up from the Valet lot and Jared was fuming.

“What was rude?” Sky scanned her eyes up and down Alameda.


Sky responded incredulously “Me?”

“Yes.  You.” Jared answered as Patrick parked the Mini Cooper at the curb in front of them. Patrick had put the top down and turned on a classic rock radio station.  It was the perfect night for a ride in a convertible. That was a nice touch. But it was a wasted effort.  Jared wasn’t in the mood anymore.

Jared walked around the drivers side along with Sky and took the keys from Patrick. “I’m driving.” he ordered and Sky protested but then relented quickly when she realized Jared wasn’t about to back down.  She did have three shots and a whiskey-diet sloshing around inside her along with the Okonomiyaki after all.  

Jared tipped Patrick well and slid in the driver’s seat.  He adjusted the mirrors and the seat and shut off the radio.  Sky went around to her side and sulked her way in to the passenger seat.

They both fastened their safety belts and Jared drove them down Alameda in silence.  It was awkward and tense.  Sky leaned over to switch the radio back on and Jared grabbed her wrist tightly.  “No.” he said sternly.

“Are you kidding me?” Sky asked as she looked at him with one hand on the wheel, the other firmly clutching her wrist.  Her hand was quickly going numb.  “Fine.” she said and he released her wrist.

“You were very rude tonight.” he said again as he merged in to traffic on the 101.

Sky rolled down her window to drown out the sounds of his voice. “So?”

Jared rolled it back up and pressed the child lock.  “What do you mean ‘so’?”

Sky pressed the window control a few more times and then whined “I told you I didn’t want to meet anyone yet.”

“But you went.  That means you act right all night.  You embarrassed me.”  Jared slipped the convertible in between a Caddy and an Audi and crossed over the highway to the exit at Vermont Ave.

“Oh please.” Sky snarked.  Then “Where are we going?”

 “You think this is funny?”

Jared wound the Mini-Cooper up the hills behind Whitley Heights and Sky rolled her eyes thinking he was taking her to look-out-point.  “Your friends are a bunch of pretentious assholes.”  she announced.

“And you’re a cunt.”  Jared declared as he pulled the car off at Tarac Trail.

“Oh-ho-ho.” Sky sniveled.

“I’m not laughing.” Jared said as he put the car in park and shut it off.

“Where are we?” Sky asked as she looked around the deserted and dark trail.

“Look out point.” Jared chided.

“Funny.  Take me home.”

“No. Not until you say you’re sorry.”

“For what? You called me a cunt!”


“And take me home!”

“Take yourself home.” Jared said and he tossed her keys out the window into the dark brush and climbed out of the car. Sky jumped out of the car and scrambled over to where she thought the keys would have landed and searched in the dirt.

Jared walked down the trail in the dark and a few minutes later Sky shuffled after him.

“I can’t find the keys.” she announced.

“Not my problem.”

“Help me find the keys Jared!”


“I’m sorry.” she said too quickly.

“That’s not sincere.”

“I’m sooooorrrreeee.”

Jared turned around quickly and grabbed Sky by both elbows. “Like you mean it.” he said as he tightened his grip on her.  Sky’s feet lifted off the ground ever so slightly.  He was in control of her for a moment but only because he towered over her like a Falcon on a worm.  Sky’s balls were larger than her frame.  She looked in his eyes defiantly.  He stared back in to her soul.

She didn’t break the stare before saying  “Fuck you dude.  I’d rather walk.”

“Suit yourself.” he said and he released her.  He started to make his way down the darkened trail again and she came running after him, grabbing his sleeve and whining.

“We can’t just leave my car here!”

“We…” Jared snorted.


Jared stopped walking and turned again.  Sky was standing there.  The half-moon casting an amber glow on the pathway behind her.  She looked worried and frazzled and a bit drunk.

“I’m sorry.” she said.  “What can I do?  Too much to drink.” she blamed the alcohol and turned on her charm “But I am sorry.  Let me make it up to you?” she sauntered up to him and put her hands on his hips.  “You forgive me?” she asked as she batted her big black eyes.

“How do I know you mean it?”  he asked.

Sky slipped her fingertips inside Jared’s waist band and ran her pointer finger along the skin beneath his belt line. “I could…show you….how sorry I am.” she said as she cupped his package over his dark jeans with her other hand.

“Get off me.” Jared swatted her hand away.

Sky regrouped.  “Please just help me find my keys.  We can end this tonight but don’t leave me here, ok?”  Sky pushed a few tears out of her eyes left over from her Improv classes and Jared snorted.

“You forget I have an Oscar.” he sniffed.

“Fine.  Fuck you.  Go!” she shouted and she pushed him with all of her might.  He pushed her back ever so slightly  “Are you for real?”

“Here’s your fucking keys.”  Jared said dryly as he slipped them out of his pants pocket.

“Oh my god.  Why did you do that?” she asked as she tried to snatch the keys from his hand.

He held them a little bit out of her reach and responded  “Someone needs to teach you how to behave.”

“There are other ways to teach me a lesson than this Jared.  That was mean.”

“Oh?  What ‘other ways’?” he asked as they both walked back up to the Mini Cooper.

Sky looked around then grumbled “You could …spank me…for example.”

“Spank you?”

“You know.  Like a swat…on the butt.”

“Bare skin?”

“Bare skin.”

“You want me to spank you?”

“I want you to take me home.” Sky said “But if I’ve been bad…maybe I need to be punished first?” she slid up closer to him and put her hands back on his hips.  He looked down on her and thought about how much he’d like to teach her that lesson.  But she was too eager.  Too willing to take a paddling.  He thought of something else but then shook it off.  Too much.  Too soon.  And he really did think she was a cunt.

They got back to the Mini Cooper and Sky held out her hand for the keys. “I’m ok to drive now.” she said and thrust her hand in his face, palm out so he could place the keys inside her hand.

“How bad do you want these keys?”

“Give me them.”


“Give me them…please?”

“Doesn’t sound like you really want them to me.” Jared said and he jingled them above her head once again.

“Give me…my goddamn keys.  Please.”

“Beg for them.”

“Please?” she said softly.  “Pretty…please?”

“I’m not convinced.”

“This is going to go on all night isn’t it?”


“Until you get your way?”


Sky put her hands up to Jared and demanded “Pick me up.”


Sky shimmied out of her panties and handed him the lacy thong before making her request again “Pick me up you fucking asshole!”

Jared sniffed her panties.  Smelled like incense and nonsense.

Jared ran his hand up the outside of Sky’s silky thigh and across the underside of her bare ass cheek; her knit dressed bunched up in the crease of his elbow.  “Why should I do what you want me to do when you haven’t listened to me all night?”

“Because you want what I’ve got.”

“I could get what you’ve got on the hour every hour.  Try again.”

“Because…uh…”  Sky put her mouth on Jared’s and peppered his top lip with teeny kisses.

Jared picked up a speechless Sky and pinned her to the back of the Mini Cooper while she sucked on his bottom lip.  He ground his hips in to center and his belt buckle rubbed against her tender parts.

“I really do like you.” she said quietly “It’s just … I don’t share very well.”

Jared sighed when Sky’s hands slid beneath her to find his belt buckle.  He helped her undo his pants and let them fall to his knees.  His cock lazily rose to greet her and she smiled knowing she had some work cut out for her.

“You can spank me if you want.” she said.  Jared had a different idea.  He walked them both over to the front of the Mini Cooper and slammed Sky down on the hood.  He took both of her wrists in his hands and pinned her arms above her head.  She was so tiny he was able to hold both wrists in one of his enormous hands and with his free hand he pulled up her dress so he could bite her tits.  He chewed on her shoulder.  Nibbled her nipples.  Left hickies on her stomach then he was ready to enter her.  With her dress up around her neck and both breasts exposed to the night Jared pulled Sky down on the hood so he could shove his dick deep inside her.  Jared pounded his cock in to Sky’s pussy again and again and she loved it.  She shouted his name and howled through the night.

“You’ve been such a bad girl.” he said over and over as he thrust in to her tiny cunt.

“I’m bad.” she agreed as she moaned from the pain tinged pleasure he was delivering with each slam in to her.

“You’re a rude girl.”


“A cunt.”

“A dirty cunt.”

Jared clamped his free hand across her mouth.

“Shut up.” He said as he held her mouth shut tight.

After a few more pumps, Jared slid Sky off the hood, turned her around and ordered her back on the hood facing the opposite direction so she would be kneeling in front of him.  She obliged and smirked over her shoulder at him as she wiggled her ass back and forth.  She was at the perfect height for him now.  Creamy white ass high in the air.  Boots on.  Dressed pushed up towards her shoulders.

“Don’t scratch my car!” She warned and Jared clamped his hand back over her mouth.

“Didn’t I tell you to shut up?”

Sky licked the inside of Jared’s palm while it covered her mouth.

Jared slid his cock back inside of Sky’s itty bitty pussy, spit on his free hand let one of his fingers find then prepare her asshole.  He slid a spit covered finger in and out of her.  She gasped “ow ow ow” at first then leaned in to him as his finger plunged deeper.  She was moaning or mumbling something but he kept his hand over her mouth.  He didn’t want to hear what she was blabbering about but he was enjoying the wetness she kept depositing on his dick.  Once satisfied that her ass was primed he pulled out of her cunt and pushed himself inside her little asshole with one giant thrust, the juices from her pussy lubricating his entry.

Jared’s hand slid off her mouth as he got lost in the spongy feeling of Sky’s tight insides as it grasped hold of his cock.  He placed a hand on each hip bone and rocked her back and forth, up and down his shaft.  Within a few moments she took over and satisfied herself with a steady rhythm. Backing herself up on his shaft, rocking forward to release him.  She liked his dickhead popping out and slipping back in.  She moaned and took all of him over and over deep in to her asshole.  Down in the depths of her bowels.

Jared’s eyes were shut tight and the moon was on his back and the Mini Cooper rocked and before he knew it he pulled out of her.  Pushed her down off the hood of the car so she was on her knees in the dirt.  He wanted to finish in her mouth.

“Open.”  He demanded and she did and he covered her face and her lips and especially her tongue with three glorious spurts of thick cum.

Eventually he mumbled “You’re forgiven.” and handed Sky some napkins from her glove compartment.

“So can we go home now?” Sky asked.

“Yeah.” he said  “Where are the keys?”

Crazy Happy (10B)

Jared and AnnaLynn photographed the mountains behind the mountains and the grass between the rocks.  Dry river beds and lizards.  Sweet Assylum flowers and the tracks of mysterious animals.  Nature was on display for the two of them in the purest of forms.  Unblemished and untouched.  Powerful, grandiose and magnificent in its simplicity.  She snapped hundreds of pictures of their corner of California.  He several dozen of her. Jared liked photographing AnnaLynn as she photographed the world.

Jared and AnnaLynn barely spoke all day.  Just gestures, smiles and finger pointing.  He set the kit lens for her.  She changed the battery for him.  It was exactly what they needed.  Calm.  Re-centering.  Quiet.  Peaceful.

It was early afternoon when they sat down on the tailgate of Jamie’s Jeep to eat Jared’s red grapes.

“Thank you for this.” AnnaLynn smiled as she retied back her hair.

“It was a good idea.  Right?  I think the Nikon did better in the low light.”

AnnaLynn nodded and popped a grape in her mouth.

“I could easily get addicted to photography.”

“Yeah.  Me too.  If I ever figure out what I’m doing.”

Jared leaned over her and placed his black backpack on the back seat.  She looked Jared up and down.  Assessed his intentions.  From the look in his eyes all day today, she was sure they were pure.  A first step perhaps?  It would be easy to let him back in.  She missed him so bad.

He was good for her even when he was haunting her art and the landscapes of her mind.  He wanted her healthy and she knew deep down inside, she needed someone who cared about her more than she cared about herself.  To make sure she takes two pills instead of all forty.  And when that day returns when a cup of black coffee can’t fix what ails her, he’ll make sure the doctor’s remember there’s a person inside that madness.  A good one.

Jared loves AnnaLynn. And after the day they spent together, she finally trusts it.  Not because they made love before the sun rose.  Not because the wind kept blowing his opulent hair in to their picture frames so often that they spent the better part of twenty minutes trying to find a vine of some sort to tie it back and probably picked up a spiteful case of Poison Oak.  Not because he picked a day like today when the sky was bluer than the bluest blues to return.  She loved him because he had been there and after all that had gone on he came back.  With all that is yet to happen, he came back and he brought the sunrise with him so they could start again.

To her, coming back is so much more important than having stayed.  Anyone could have stayed.  Its so easy to find yourself stuck.  Most of us are stuck somewhere or with someone.  Stuck aint shit.  What is something: being unstuck, set free, whatever you wanna call it and putting on fresh fatigues and marching right back in to the war zone.  That’s something.  That’s brave.  That’s love.

AnnaLynn put her hand on Jared’s chest and he stopped what he was doing to look at her.  She slid her hand up his shirt and circled her thumb around his nipple while gazing in his eyes.  It was an amazing feeling to reclaim his body like this.  To touch his skin where she wanted to touch.  Unwritten permission.  The informality of lovers.  She smiled at the thought.  He was hers to touch again.

“I love you.” she declared softly.

It took a moment but only because he responded misty eyed  “I love you too.”

He leaned in to her and let her hand explore his chest while he took her face in his hands.  They gazed at one another and a thousand yesterdays flickered in their eyes.  Jared stood up over AnnaLynn.  His legs straddling hers.  They kissed softly as AnnaLynn ran her hand down his stomach and across his hips.  She felt his bones beneath his flesh.  His muscles.  Her favorite veins.  She dipped her hands in to his hiking pants and slid them down slightly to free Jared’s cock.  She wanted it in her throat.  She wanted to take every inch.  Reward him in a way that girls do for the boys they love.  A blow job for a job well done.

She dropped to her knees in the dirt parking lot behind Runyon Canyon.  His skin was hot in her hand.  Sweaty and sticky.  His cock hardened when she took the head between her lips and her stomach tied in a knot.  She closed her eyes as she stroked, licked and sucked him.  He leaned his forehead against the roof of the Jeep and fell away with the moment.  The movement of her mouth on his body so familiar; like a language he learned long ago.  She knew just how to touch him.  To bring him to the point where he needed her more than he’s ever needed another woman.  To that place just before you enter heaven.  Purgatory but without the pain.

He fumbled with her breasts and she could taste his pre-cum. He got real close but pulled back from her before it was too late.

“I want you.”  he whispered in her ear.

“Here?” she replied “Now?”

“Right here.”  he groaned “Right now.”

AnnaLynn obediently stood up from the tailgate and stepped out of her shorts and panties.  Jared lifted her shirt above her head and grabbed her back tightly to bring her breast to his mouth.  He lifted her back on the tailgate, spread her legs and entered her.  They made love for a moment.  Slow and as one.  Her legs wrapped around him.  He deep between.

Then he wiggled her off the tailgate so she could turn around and face the Jeep standing up.  He bent her over the tailgate and finished her.  She was crying joyful pain as he pounded her pussy.  His middle finger on her clit and his cock deep inside her.

“Oh fuck…fuck…uhh …” Jared pulled out fast and shot his load all over AnnaLynn’s ass cheeks and she sighed.  They just finished making love and she already wanted more.  Maybe later after a soak in her salt-water pool they’ll have a go again.  She liked the sensation his cum left on her skin.  Hot then quickly cooled.  Viscous and stringy.  She could almost taste the salty sweetness of his juices.  Like nothing else. Unique to him.

Feeling him behind her again as he cleaned his mess off of her was a private pleasure she was glad she didn’t have to share with the world.  Not that the world ever mattered. She was most content when she forgot he was a rock star.  Pretended he wasn’t an Oscar winner.  And he was just Jared.  The boy with the blue eyes who tried to paint but failed miserably. The vegan who snuck nibbles of her Little Debbie Snack Cakes when he thought she wasn’t looking.  The man who rubbed her back and climbed in the cold baths with her.  The boy who called 911.  Jared Leto was hers again and that made AnnaLynn crazy happy.


Wild Horses (20)

Liberty was born on a Sunday. Her entrance in to this world ethereal.  Aware and bright, were her blue eyes.  Swaddled in your arms until you brought her to my breast.  A new love bigger than anything we had ever known. Soul smacked.

Daddy’s girl took her first steps in to your arms.  Squeaked out your name and filled you with joy.  You taught her to swim in the pool out back at our ranch on Wrightwood.  When we moved to North Crescent you built her a slide then a diving board.  She would sing in tune with your guitar.  Two voices perfectly harmonizing the alphabet, Elmo’s song and Six Little Ducks.  Her fingers danced quickly over the piano keys.  Your little sponge.  Your little girl.

I learned to cook.  Taught pre-natal yoga.  And settled gladly in to a life with you, my husband, and our miracle child.  Time whittled away at the walls we built.  Eventually we let our guard down and went on living.  Your career flourished.  Music faded to the background while you concentrated on movies.  Your investments grew.  Life was good for us.

But … in the back of my mind always was a nugget of fear.  A knowing that Damien Joseph was still out there.  Cops long ago stopped returning our calls requesting an update on the case. Damien Joseph had vanished.  Hadn’t resurfaced for years.  That was good enough for them.  But I knew better.  Late at night after a long day, spent from love making and life building you’d confess that sometimes you thought about him too.  He still owned a piece of us both.  It wasn’t the fans or a rogue paparazzo that made us cling to Liberty so tight, it was him.

So, it goes without saying I wasn’t surprised when he appeared back in our life.  Liberty was nine. Her brother Danny, just three. We were lazying away the day on the beach in Malibu. Your friend’s beach front castle borrowed for the week.  Danny was collecting shells and Liberty was learning to surf.  I was a hundred pages deep in a mystery, you were watching a bird swoop in and out of the waves.  Our day was very California.  Lovely really. Until a bullet ripped through my temple and I fell in to your lap.